he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
