yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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