I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
