On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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