Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
