Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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