I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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