Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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