There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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