If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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