that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
