i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
