sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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