Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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