Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
