Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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