she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
