I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
