i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
