I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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