you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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