Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Semen is not good for contacts.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
