He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
