That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
