walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
These tits shall not be calmed
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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