okay pat passed out under dana's car
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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