I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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