I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
