I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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