I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize