Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
