it wasn't lemon gatorade
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
