Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
