I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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