It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
