Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
