He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
