No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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