woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
