how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize