oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
