ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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