There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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