I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
