I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it penis luge time yet?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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