By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
