your parents love me but you hate me
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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