I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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