I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
40s are totally the cure
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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