I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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