I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
