Dual....:-)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
