I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize