Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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