FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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