obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
