I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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