my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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