when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
