Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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