:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
