community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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