this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
