You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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