Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
