Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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