Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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