I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
