The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
